Okay, not really…but it feels like Christmas in July. Why, you ask? Because I’m dropping teasers for my novella! You’ll have to suffer through(or scroll if you like instant gratification) my ramblings to get to the goods, but like all things, it’s worth the wait!(I hope)
Today is also National Pina Colada Day, and I give you Rupert Holmes, the original F**kboy.
I know you’re asking yourself, “Tobie, how could this man be considered a f**kboy when he looks like he shops from an old Montgomery Ward catalog?”
Well friends, let me explain. Imagine, if you will, lying in bed beside your significant other. You’ve been with them for a few years, but things are stagnant—boring. You’re reading the paper while your SO plays a crossword, and you find the personal ads where a woman is looking to meet a man who likes, you guessed it, PINA COLADAS. In his defense, she was also looking for someone who had half a brain, which it seems like he was able to scrounge up at least half of that. Poor Rupert wanted to “Escape” his current woman for a much more fun one, someone who liked making love at midnight in caves, the feel of the ocean, and the taste of Champagne .
Fast forward in the song, and you realize they start writing to each other, while he’s still with the woman who is boring him. Good ol’ Rupert and this woman decide they’re going to meet, and when he walks into the restaurant you’ll never guess who he finds.
HIS OWN LOVELY LADY.
THE BORING WOMAN SLEEPING NEXT TO HIM.
Yes, dear reader. This song was not, in fact, just about Pina Coladas, but a man and a woman doing each other dirty and still ending up with each other. I’m not sure whether I should laugh or feel vindicated, but I will tell you that I’ll still sing every word of this song with my whole soul because I LOVE PINA COLADAS.
Drafts
Is this the part where you give us the sneak peek of the new novella?
Ehhhh…not yet. But we’re almost there. This is the part where I update you on what I’ve been doing and what I have planned.
It won’t take long, I promise(That’s what she said)
Anywho, I finished what I like to call the ‘Gnome Novella’, a few weeks ago. No, it’s not a monster or shifter romance including Gnomes(though never say never!), but it’s about a gnome carpenter in need of a Christmas miracle to get her Etsy shop orders finished after her landlord unceremoniously evicts her. Her brother’s best friend, the guy who broke her heart many years ago, is the man with all the answers.
I’m going to reach out for Beta readers soon, so if you want on aboard this train, drop a comment here.
I’m also halfway through a big edit on the book I’m releasing at the beginning of the year. Keep an eye out for a Beta reader call and also some tidbits from that in the next few months!
Snacks
Full disclosure reader, I LOATHE bananas. However, I know most of the world does not hold the same disdain for the mushy fruit as I do, so I shall push my feelings aside side for you and only you.
Unless you’re down under or in the North Pole, it’s summer. And it’s sweltering. I’m a Texan, so I’ve adapted and found ways to fight the heat. But for those who haven’t, try fighting it from the inside with frozen chocolate peanut butter banana bites. These no bake treats are great when you need protein or a little boost of energy!
This recipe is simple:
3 bananas
1/4 cup of PB
Chocolate Chips
Cut bananas into 1/4in. slices, warm the peanut butter in the microwave for 30-40 seconds. Spoon PB between two slices and place on a parchment paper covered baking sheet that fits in your freezer. Once you have your desired amount, freeze the bananas for about an hour. Heat up the chocolate chips(microwave or saucepan), and using a fork, dip your frozen bananas into the chocolate and cover as desired. Once finished, put them back into the freezer for at least another hour before eating!
Easy peasy! Enjoy!
Writing Hacks
This isn’t so much of a hack but a necessity. If you’re a writer, you NEED these. Non-negotiable(IMHO). These books have saved me more times than I can count. As an ND writer, I struggle hardcore with conveying emotions. Reader, I’m not an emotional person. I’m analytical and blunt. So, when I have to write emotional beats and character reactions, I find myself swirling.
These books saved me.
They helped me understand more than just writing but also things about why we make certain choices and how our pasts can affect the way we interact with each other. The Emotion Thesaurus is my favorite but I’ve recently added the Conflict Thesaurus to my collection. They are worth every. single. cent.
Go get em’ at -Writer's Helping Writers
Reading Corner
I know, I know. You’re sick of reading my rambling and want to get to the sneak peek. But we’re almost there. I want to take a moment to tell you about two books that came out yesterday.
Married at First Sight meets The Ex Talk in this heartfelt yet sexy second-chance romance debut in which one couple must decide if they can overcome their past for a chance at happily ever after, perfect for fans of One to Watch.
NOT YOU AGAIN released yesterday, and I cannot tell you how excited I am about this book. It was written by one of my absolute FAVORITE people in the world—my mentor Ingrid Pierce. I met Ingrid during the inaugural Kiss Pitch mentorship. She chose my book(THE BOTTOM LINE) as the book she wanted to mentor. Her wisdom and years of experience writing amazing stories helped me break down and rebuild Stella and Jameson’s story into the emotional, sometimes funny, and healing journey that it became.
I am forever grateful to have her in my life not only as a mentor but as a friend.
Below is the blurb:
Wedding gown designer Andie Dresser is hanging on by a thread. Gaining a following on TikTok for her one-of-a-kind fairytale gowns has earned her a spot at Atlanta’s Fashion Week, but the costs to design a full bridal line have stretched her to her limit. When her best friend suggests she sign up for a reality show with a potential $100,000 prize, she realizes the money could allow her to hire some desperately needed help. All she needs to do is marry a stranger—sight unseen—and opt for divorce at the end of filming. No big deal, right?
Architect Kit Watson just returned to Atlanta to help his loving but stubborn mother through a health crisis. However, she’ll only accept his help if he agrees to settle down, insisting he sign up for a matchmaking reality show. Willing to do anything for his mom, he finds himself at the altar—on camera—staring at Andie, the woman he abruptly left without explanation ten years ago.
With producers out to prove they're the perfect match, Kit and Andie join in on the reality show hijinks, cameras following their every move. Somewhere between zip lining and ax-throwing therapy sessions, their feelings for each other grow under the spotlight. But with decision day and Fashion Week looming, Andie needs to decide if the manufactured scenarios for TV are enough to choose loving Kit over her dreams of success.
Two broken hearts decide that the best way to get over their first loves is with a no-strings-attached relationship in this spicy and charming debut romance.
I’m fortunate to live in TX where I get to attend all the fun book events! And I was lucky enough to attend Gabriella’s launch event for THE NEXT BEST FLING at our local Indie bookstore, Nowhere Bookshop. Etta Easton, author of THE KISS COUNTDOWN, moderated as Gabriella took us through her favorite tropes, her journey to publishing, and how Marcela and Theo came to be. It's always a great time when I get to hear readers gush over the things they love about the books and authors they’re reading! Gabriella’s debut hit the shelves yesterday, and I can’t wait to curl up with a soft blanket and a nice cup of tea as I read it!
Blurb and event pictures below:
Librarian Marcela Ortiz has been secretly in love with her best friend for years—and when he gets engaged, she knows it’s long past time to move on. But before she gets the chance, she has a bigger problem to contend with in the form of Theo Young, ex-NFL player and older brother of the man she’s in love with. When she discovers Theo's plans to confess his feelings for his brother’s fiancée at their engagement party, Marcela is quick to stop him—despite how tempting it is to let him run away with the bride-to-be. She manages to convince Theo to sleep off his drunken almost-mistake at her place and when they arrive at a family brunch the next day together, everyone wrongly assumes they hooked up.
Since Theo needs a cover for his feelings for the bride and Marcela needs a distraction from her unrequited feelings for the groom, they decide to roll with the lie. Until one late night at a bar, they take it a step further and discover a layer of attraction neither realized existed. Soon, they find themselves exploring the simmering chemistry between them, whether in library aisles or Marcela's bed. There are no boundaries for the rebound relationship they form—just a host of complicated feelings, messy familial dynamics, and uncovered secrets that threaten to tear them apart before they can even admit to themselves that their rebound is working. Maybe a little too well.
Sneak Peek
Was reading through the newsletter like walking down stairs and having to wait until your siblings are awake to open presents? No? Well, I have 8 siblings, so I did a lot of waiting around Christmas morning until the older kids woke up, so you’ll survive too.
Alas, here’s two small snippets of my Gnome novella:
“Remember that winter I froze your boxers and double-dog-dared you to go make snow angels?” Andi chuckles, sipping her wine as she hands me mine and settles on the couch.
“I doubt I could forget something that brutal.” I place the log poker in its holder and grab the remote, throwing it to her on the couch. Watching a movie until we’re both tired is much more for my benefit than hers—I’m too riled up to sleep next to her without touching her. Instead of sitting beside her, I opt to throw a pillow on the ground and relax against the cushion. “I’m pretty sure my cock still doesn’t work right because of the frostbite.”
She leans forward and flashes me a devious smile. “They make pills for that, you know.”
Andi and Win responding to each other using their gov’t names is one of my favorite things throughout the book, so here’s a snippet of when they first see each other after ten years.
Andi’s back is to me when I step up to the counter and set down the gnome, her shapely behind drawing my attention. It’s been years since I’ve seen her. Gone are the gangly arms and legs I used to playfully tangle into submission over the remote, replaced by curves I shouldn’t be tempted to glide my hand along—again.
“I wondered when you’d muster up the courage to come inside.” She turns around with a box in her hand, toffee-colored eyes sharp and serious as they land on me, then the gnome.
My mouth instantly dries, heart thumping so loudly in my ears I can’t think.
It’s just Andi.
I used to be able to sling barbs back and forth with this girl in my sleep. I’ve seen her messy morning hair, smelled her oddly sweet morning breath, the mismatched pajamas she wears to bed, even held her hair while she vomited on my shoes. So why is my chest so tight it’s like I’m standing in front of a crowd giving the Presidential address?
“Winchester?” Andi’s exasperated voice snaps me out of my daze.
She knows how much I can’t stand people using my full name. I’ve been Win Robinson since crossing up her brother and every other guard down at the community center as kids, and I’ve kept that same moniker even as a litigator.
I feign a bravado I don’t feel, hoping to steady the shaky ground beneath me by using her same tactic. “Dandelion Johnson.”